“I’ll do it when I can give it my full attention”
“I’ll start when I’m not so busy”
“I’ll do it when I’m better at [insert skill here]”
Do these sound familiar? These are statements that I hear women saying on a daily basis. I’ve even caught myself saying these with regards to writing this post! If you relate to these statements, then this post is for you!
So many women that I work with struggle with perfectionism and not feeling “good enough”. We’ve had years of being told that society expects more of us and that we can “have it all” – but it’s only good enough if we can do it all perfectly.
So when we can’t do something perfectly, we avoid it. Because if we don’t try, then we can’t fail. Or so our brain tells us.
If we don’t try, and we maintain the status quo, then nothing changes. We don’t make any progress towards our goals. We don’t improve our situation. Does this sound like success to you?
Exercise is a prime example. Most women know that exercising will be beneficial for their health. Most women have also had some sort of negative experience with exercise in the past, be that at school PE lessons, in a commercial gym or feeling unsafe on a run. There is conflict between the known benefits and the lived experience. So it feels safer to do nothing. We want to be certain that when we exercise, we will be doing it “right”, that we wont hurt ourselves, that we wont waste our time doing something that doesn’t give us the results we want.
Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. It’s uncertain, it’s messy and it’s less than perfect. This isn’t a bad thing. Or, at least, it doesn’t have to be.
Is it really the “safer” option to do nothing? Usually, lack of action (of any sort) leaves us in a worse position than taking some sort of action (even if it turns out to be the “wrong” action). By taking action even when it isn’t perfect, we learn. We are figuring out what works, and just as importantly, what doesn’t work to help us get closer to our goals.
Let’s use joining a gym as an example. You know that you want to start exercising to improve your health, lose weight and build confidence. You look online for gyms in your area and find hundreds of options. You want to find the perfect fit, so you research endlessly. You don’t want to waste your time on something that isn’t right for you. So you put off joining anywhere until you find the “perfect” gym. A month goes by and you’ve still not started adding exercise to your lifestyle because the perfect gym has been elusive. All that’s happened is that you’ve wasted your time and not gotten any closer to your goals. So, is this the “safer” option?
Compare this to taking imperfect action. You want to join the gym and search online. You find hundreds of options. You know that they wont all be right for you but know that you’ll never find out whether or not any are right if you don’t try them out. You pick a gym and attend for a free trial session. You enjoyed the session but the timings aren’t going to work with your schedule in the long run, so it’s not quite the right fit. Does this mean you’ve failed? No! You’ve taken a step closer to your goals, not only by exercising in the session, but also by learning more about what you need from the gym (e.g. a flexible session schedule, a similar session format, enjoyment of the session). So now you know what to look out for when selecting the next place to try.
Aiming for perfection is often hindering us, rather than helping us. What’s the worst that’s going to happen if it’s not perfect? If the answer isn’t death, serious injury, or financial ruin, then we need to give ourselves permission to try things out, to make mistakes and to learn. Otherwise, we are going to be stuck right where we are.
Let me know if this is something that you’ve struggled with, and if so, have you tried taking imperfect action?
#perfection #imperfectaction #progress #progress